


Vampires

by remanth



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blood, Destiel - Freeform, Frottage, Grace - Freeform, M/M, Vampires, pre-destiel, sort of, vampire!Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-27
Updated: 2013-06-27
Packaged: 2017-12-16 07:28:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/859492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remanth/pseuds/remanth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean reflects on how he was turned and begs Cas for help when the hunger becomes too much. Cas helps with that and so much more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vampires

You know, I really never thought Sammy would do it. Would throw me to a vampire, let him turn me, so that I would show him the way into the nest. The brother I knew and raised would never have done that. It was really one of the last things that convinced me something was wrong with him.

It was terrifying and oddly thrilling, existing as a vampire. The call of blood was so very, very strong but I knew I couldn't drink even a drop. If I did, I was lost for good. But the sound of hearts beating and blood rushing through veins was delicious. I felt like those soldiers in the Odyssey with wax in their ears to block out the siren's call. Unfortunately, I had nothing to block it all out with. I was more like Odysseus, lashed to the mast of my goal with the ropes of my will and determination.

Hmm, I suppose I get a little poetic when contemplating the end of my life as I know it. Or just the end of my life. Because, I swear to god and the one angel who stands on our side, that I will let Sam and Samuel kill me. I _will not_ hurt anyone. There's just one more thing I need to do, one goodbye I need to say before that happens.

It was absurdly easy to slip away from my family. Just claim to need some space because I could hear their hearts beating and slam the bathroom door. The fact that it was true only adds to their belief. Then, slip out the window and drop the three stories to the ground. Land on my feet because of my new instincts and strength. There are benefits to being a vampire, really. And the speed I had meant I could make it to Lisa's in a short time.

Sneaking in and making my way to her bedroom was again easy and all I could do was stand and stare. I was a monster now and she shouldn't see me like this. I shouldn't even have come, to be honest. As I made up my mind to leave, though, she woke up. Lisa saw me and then I couldn't leave. But I could explain a little bit. Say goodbye without using those exact words. She tried to come closer to me and she just smelled so _good_. I had to turn away and force the fangs that had punched down from my gums back up. And that's when I knew I had to leave.

I hurried out of Lisa's room and ran into Ben. I didn't want to hurt the kid; I'd come to love him as my own in the time I'd spent here. When he came closer, I had to shove him away so I didn't snatch him up and bite through his neck. I ran then, hearing the fear and anger in Lisa's voice. This was a really bad idea. I'm just glad I didn't hurt either of them.

The vampire nature started becoming more dominant on my way back to the motel. I looked at each person I passed as food and calculated the best way to take them and then hide the body when I was done. There were so many little shadowed nooks and alleys I could hide in, drinking down the warm blood that flowed through their veins. The siren call was even stronger, a pulsing beat in time with their hearts. "Drink me, drink me, drink me".

In desperation, I called to the one being I thought might be able to help me. I'd never stopped thinking about him, even while I was with Lisa. There was too much between us, said and unsaid. Even though I hadn't seen him for over a year, I still felt the connection to him. I'd kind of hoped that spending time with Lisa would dull what I felt. Course, that didn't work.

"Cas, buddy, if you're listening, I could really use some help," I whispered, leaning against the wall in the alley I'd ducked into. "Please. I don't know how much longer I can handle this."

Almost immediately, there was the sound of fluttering feathers and I looked to my right and saw him. Cas stood there in his holy tax accountant gear with a sympathetic and worried look on his face. I couldn't help the smile that pulled at my lips, didn't really want to. It just felt good to see the guy again.

"Hello Dean," Cas said, nodding at me. He walked closer, even though I made shooing motions with my hands. I really didn't want to attack him but his blood smelled even better than the humans I'd been passing. Something... clean, something bright about it.

"Cas, you can't stand so close," I whispered, wrapping my arms around my stomach to try and hold myself back. "I don't want to hurt you."

"You couldn't hurt me even if you tried," Cas replied gently, stopping less than a foot away from me. The whole personal space thing was familiar and it calmed me, that he didn't change. No matter how many times I protested in the past, I still enjoyed that he stood so close to me. It allowed me to indulge myself without having to show that I wanted to be that close. "What happened, Dean?"

I explained the whole story, starting with the vampire who'd cornered me in that alley. I didn't hold anything back, including my worries and suspicions about Sam. As I talked, the bloodlust ebbed and I was able to let go and stand straight again. Questions flooded my mind, questions that had been bothering me for a while now.

“Where you been, Cas?” I asked, meeting the blue eyes that I couldn’t help memorizing each time I saw them. “After Stull Cemetery, I thought I’d see you. But you never showed up. Why now?”

Cas looked...ashamed was the only word I could think of. He was silent for a few minutes, obviously trying to find _something_ to say to me. A hundred horrible thoughts rushed through my mind. What could he possibly have done that he wouldn’t say? That he needed to find the right words? He stepped back and turned, leaning against the wall much as I had done before. I’d noticed that before; the little things Cas would do that mimicked me or Sammy.

“I’ve been busy,” Cas finally said. “There’s a civil war in Heaven after the Apocalypse was stopped. Other angels have rallied around me against Raphael. It’s been difficult staying alive. Raphael is an archangel and far more powerful than I am. I stayed away to keep you out of it. I didn’t want Raphael or his followers to target you. I had to keep you alive.”

I bumped Cas’s shoulder with mine, though backed away quickly to avoid latching onto his neck or something. I smiled and he gave me that little grin he last gave me when explaining how to get Lilith away from Sam. It felt good to be here, felt like this wasn’t completely out of my hands. And I could tell Cas cared, even if it was just that we were friends on his end. After all, he’s this holy angel of the lord and I’m Dean Winchester, the man who’d been to Hell and done unspeakable things now turned vampire.

“Thanks. But I missed you, man. Couldn’t you have popped in, let me know you were all right?” I asked. “And, while I’m asking questions, is there anything you can do about vampire-me? It kinda sucks and I don’t know how much longer I can take not drinking.”

I grinned wider at the pun; as long as some part of me was still me, I was pretty sure I was going to be making wisecracks. It apparently went over Cas’s head as the guy didn’t even react. Cas studied me, a serious look in his eyes. Finally, after several soul-searching seconds, he sighed and shook his head.

“There is nothing I can do to cure you,” Cas said sadly. “I know of nothing an angel can do to cure a vampire. There is, however, a ritual that can be performed. It requires the blood of your sire and a few other items.”

“Yeah, Samuel told me about it,” I nodded, remembering the conversation. “That’s part of why I’ve been fighting drinking so long. If I drink even one drop of human blood, the cure won’t work. I can’t chance that but its so hard.”

“I may not be able to help you with the cure,” Cas said meditatively, standing straight again. “But I can help you with the bloodlust. But you have to trust me, trust that I know what I’m doing.”

I felt a thrill of hope run through me. If only he could throttle it back some, I could deal with everything. Get into the vampire nest and get the blood of the bastard that turned me. Kill them along the way because hey, vampire superpowers. Why let them go to waste? I stood up too, facing Cas and squaring my shoulders. I didn’t know if this was going to hurt, but that didn’t matter.

“Whatever it takes,” I told him, forcing confidence into my voice. “There’s shit I need to do and I can’t be worrying about innocents in this. You know I trust you by now, Cas. Especially after all the shit we’ve gone through, all the times you’ve stood in the firing line to give me or Sammy a chance.”

Cas nodded and started folding up one sleeve. Once he’d bared his forearm, his blade dropped into his other hand. Quickly, he scored his wrist with a distant look on his face. I knew he felt the pain; angel blades were one of the few things that actually hurt angels. It must have taken a lot of determination to not let it show on his face. I stared at his wrist, expecting to see blood and preparing to hold myself back. However, to my surprise, a bright white light started to leak from the wound. It flowed down Cas’s wrist and into his palm, casting strange shadows around us.

“Cas... what is that?” I asked, fearing I knew the answer.

“My grace,” Cas replied, stepping closer to me again and holding up his hand. “You can drink this and it will stave off the hunger for a time.”

“Isn’t that hurting you? I mean, your grace is part of you?” I argued stepping back and raising my hands. Even to stop the hunger, I didn’t want to hurt a friend. Not Cas.

“No more than when I used my grace to put you back together,” Cas replied, following me. “I can spare some of it. And I trust you as well, Dean. You will stop before harming me. Drink.”

I fought against it for another few seconds but the scent of Cas’s grace was overwhelming. It was clean and sharp, like the scent in the air just before lightning strikes. It smelled delicious and I knew it would taste even better. Almost before I knew what I was doing, my hands lashed out and gripped his forearm tight. I dipped my head to his hand, licking up the pooled light before tracing up to the still-bleeding wound on his wrist.

A strangled groan rumbled in my throat as I latched onto the cut Cas had made. The light tasted so _good_ , like every good thing I could remember ever tasting. Cold spring water mixed with the sharp bite of tart apples and the sweetness of cherry pie. That groan changed the atmosphere around us from merely a friend helping another to something darker, hungrier. I understood, now, why vampires took such delight in drinking. It wasn’t just for survival; there was something primal, something burning and sexual and powerful in the act. I felt myself falling, losing the thin threads of control but I couldn’t find it in myself to care. I had willing prey and I wanted _more_.

Lightning quick, I released Cas’s arm and grabbed his shoulders, shoving him back against the wall. A quick look of surprise flashed across his face before he caught my eyes. He managed to stop me in my tracks just from the force of it. It always happened, that stare would just blindside me. I froze, hunger and need and desire warring in my eyes as I stared back at Cas. He studied me, head tilted slightly to the side. I could see when he came to a decision, a determined look coming into his eyes.

I didn’t even hear his coat rustle as his blade dropped into his hands. With a steady hand, much steadier than mine would have been had our positions been reversed, Cas reached up and drew the blade across the side of his throat. It was a longer cut and more of that bright light poured out. I managed to scrape enough of my humanity together to wait, to make sure he was offering what I thought. Cas nodded once, reading what I was asking. It didn't take much more than that. The last threads snapped again and I lunged forward, burying my head in the crook of Cas’s shoulder.

That glorious taste flowed across my tongue again and I moaned. My entire focus narrowed down to that. I forgot that we were in an alley, barely hidden from anyone passing by. I forgot that there were very good hunters probably out looking for me. Forgot that they wouldn’t hesitate to kill me if they saw this. I forgot that I could feasibly kill Cas for helping me, drain the life and energy out of him if I wasn’t able to stop myself. Or he wasn’t able to stop me. All that mattered was drinking more, drinking until I couldn’t anymore.

Craving more, I crowded close to Cas. I pushed even harder at his shoulders, my hands curled into fists in the material of his trenchcoat. My entire body was melded to his, his warmth bleeding into my cold body. It was funny; I’d never noticed how cold I was before. But Cas was nearly burning and I wanted that heat almost as much as I wanted the light pouring down my throat. Throughout it all, he made no sound and barely moved. The only thing Cas did was wrap one arm around my waist and the other around my shoulders. I shivered when his fingers feathered over my neck and rested just under my jaw. I expected him to push me away but Cas just held me closer. Urged me to keep drinking.

I sucked harder at the wound in his neck, completely willing to do as he was urging. Everything in me was roaring, twisting me up and throwing me higher and higher. It felt... almost orgasmic and I revelled in the feeling. I shifted a bit, changing my center of balance and felt a painfully hard erection rub against Cas’s hip. I had no idea when it happened but a bomb could probably have gone off next to me in the last minute or so and I wouldn’t have noticed. I froze again for just a moment, breath heaving through my nose. This wasn’t right, now. This wasn’t what Cas had agreed to, was it? He was just trying to help me. With a painful jolt of regret, I lifted my head and started to step back. I couldn’t take this any further. Not under these circumstances and without discussing a few things first. But Cas merely tightened his arms around me, fingers stroking soothingly over my neck.

“Dean, I told you to drink,” Cas whispered, voice lower and more hoarse than I’d ever heard it. His breath ghosted over my temple and ear and I shivered again. “Whatever you need that I can give you, you can take.”

“Cas...” I murmured, caught between two equally strong instincts. I couldn’t tell which was vampire and which was human. Or if both were a mixture of the two sides. “I... can’t. Not, not like this.”

“You can and you will,” Cas told me, putting gentle pressure on my neck to tip my head back down. “Take what you want, Dean. If you need it, you have my permission.”

I still couldn’t believe Cas was offering this. Maybe he didn’t really know. But there was a large and insistent part of me that really didn’t want to stop. That part was mostly human, had been hidden deep inside me because I didn’t want to ruin the friendship we’d been building when it was fragile. And I didn’t want to lose one of the best friends I’d ever had once we were friends. As I continued to hesitate, Cas sighed impatiently and slid his arm down over my hips. He pressed my hips back into his own as he continued to tip my head down. That answered that; he knew exactly what he was offering.

Gratefully, I started lapping at the grace that had spilled out while we were talking. It had trailed down from Cas’s neck and pooled in the indent of his collarbone. I was more gentle, laving my tongue over the skin. His skin tasted more earthy than his grace, somehow smoother. It was just as good and I spent a few seconds licking my way up to the cut on Cas’s neck. When I sealed my mouth over it, I started moving my hips again in little swaying movements. It wasn’t much but it was enough to provide the friction my body was craving.

Cas merely held me, letting my own movements dictate his. His fingers kept stroking over my neck and that was the one thing that kept me grounded, the one thing that kept the beast inside me from taking over. Unclenching one fist, I slid my hand down his side, feeling the shape of the body I’d imagined from time to time. Not that I would admit that to anyone, really. After all, a human fantasizing about an angel? That would probably get me sent to Hell. Again. When I reached Cas’s hip, I fitted my hand over the curve of it. He was made of slightly sharper angles than most of the women I’d been with before but felt perfect. We fitted together as if we were made for each other. Which was a thought I shoved to the back of my mind to consider later.

As I continued to thrust shallowly against his hips, I could feel heat starting to overtake my body. Cas’s grace was filling me completely and I had almost drank my fill of it. In a final burst of arousal and need, I ground harder against Cas and growled against his skin. It only took a few seconds as ecstasy and desire overwhelmed me. As I orgasmed, I lifted my head and clenched my teeth against the scream ripping out of my throat. I didn’t want to draw any attention to us and a scream would have done just that. I could tell Cas heard it; I couldn’t keep all the sound back and his arms tightened almost possessively around me.

Once I came down from the high, our arms still wrapped around each other, I took several deep breaths. The cut on Cas’s neck was healed but some of his grace still glowed against his skin. I licked the rest of the bright light off his skin slowly, wanting to prolong this a little bit longer. I doubted this was ever going to happen again and I wanted to engrave every sound, every taste, every sight into my memory to keep forever. Once every bit of the light was gone, I pressed my head into the crook of Cas’s shoulder and licked over the place the cut had been. And if my lips lingered afterward in a feather-light kiss, I could only hope Cas wouldn’t notice.

With a sigh, I released Cas’s shoulder and hip and made to step back. Cas let his arms drop from around me, almost reluctantly it seemed. I chalked that up to exhaustion because he did look tired. His eyes were shadowed and his face was pale. I stood there silent, wondering what exactly I should do or say next. After all, this was a first for me: feeding from an angel and getting off on it. It should have made the atmosphere around us uncomfortable but it didn’t. All I felt was repleteness and a sense of serenity.

“Cas,” I finally whispered, not meeting his eyes. “Thank you. And... I’m sorry. I know you offered but I should have just stuck to drinking. But the hunger is gone. I can’t thank you enough for that.”

Cas chuckled quietly and cupped my cheek. He lifted my head until I met his eyes and all I saw there was acceptance and caring. I didn’t look too closely, averting my gaze quickly. There were too many things I had left unsaid that I didn’t want Cas to see. Not here and now. Not because of this.

“You are welcome, Dean,” Cas said fondly, the tips of his fingers brushing over my cheek as he let his hand drop. “And you have nothing to be sorry for. I understand. When I have dealt with this civil war we will need to talk. I wanted to keep you out of this life, keep you safe, but you brought yourself back in. We have much to discuss.”

I nodded and looked at the mouth of the alley as I heard footsteps. I’d recognize the sound of those boots anywhere. Sammy had probably finally found me. I heard wings again and knew Cas had disappeared. He was right; we had a lot to discuss. And the way he emphasized that last sentence made me think it wasn’t all hunting-related. That would have to wait, though. First, I needed to walk into a vampire den, get the blood of the bastard who had turned me, and get back out alive. And luckily, thanks to Cas’s mojo at that last touch most likely, I wouldn’t have to explain to Sammy exactly what had happened in that alley: I was completely clean and unbloody, no sign that anything had happened. I locked this night down tight in the back of my mind, frozen like a bubble in amber. It was a good one, if rather strange and frightening. One memory that I wanted to keep.


End file.
